In the Doghouses

The serenity of the endlessly sunny grassy rolling hills that surrounded me brought me peace. The constant gentle breeze through the tall grass, random wildflowers and sparse trees was soothing as I walked alone through the Brightburbs. My solivagant nature welcomed the solitude.

Every so often, I would check my map to see how far along I was progressing. Currently, I had no heading or a clear direction as to where my next destination was. 

I passed by a couple neighborhoods, which were full of empty, surreal homes that were scattered throughout the hills. As I had previously seen in other areas, many of the homes varied in style, color, size, and materials. 

The sun remains constant in the Brightburbs, never setting, which was bothersome and a hinderance to getting proper sleep. The best I could do was to find a random empty home and draw the curtains to darken the room. 

Occasionally, I would stumble upon a 7-Eleven store, where I would restock my turquoise backpack with food, medical supplies, and almond water. Some of the isolated liminal convenience stores had maps of the areas I traveled through, which I collected, should I return to there. 

Eventually, I came to a neighborhood that had strange, rustic wooden houses that resembled dog houses. They varied slightly in style, scattered randomly throughout the rolling hills. The structures were made of weathered wood, and many of them were around the size of standard houses, much larger than a traditional dog house. 

The round, doorless entrance to the dog houses allowed me to easily peek inside. The houses were each different, both on the exterior and interior. Inside, there were random chew toys, and a variety of styles of dog beds. There didn't appear to be any sign of actual dogs around, so I lingered, exploring some of the seemingly vacant canine homes. 

The dog houses seemed to be scattered throughout the hills, grouped together into clusters of three or four, with a few lone exceptions isolated from the others. 

There were sparse trees around, also in clusters, providing some shade here and there. Suddenly, as I came to the top of a hill, I was startled to find an enormous red dog standing atop a dog house. 

The red dog was as large as the house itself, making it perhaps around 20 or so feet tall. I found this off-putting, so I hid behind a tree, watching it. The dog seemed to be standing guard, waiting. Suddenly, it looked right at me, seemingly seeing my face peering at it from around the tree. It barked once at me, then jumped down off of the roof and disappeared into the house. 

I waited a moment for any new movements, but nothing happened. So, there were dogs around! My curiousity got the better of me, so I decided to approach the house and look inside. 

When I did so, I found the interior to have a dirt floor, with random dog beds in wooden cells along the walls. The giant red dog was no where to be seen. There were no dogs at all inside. However, on one of the walls was written a message in red paint: "Who let the dogs out?"

As with the other dog houses, there were random chew toys scattered about. Among them, I found a black tape recorder that had a yellow sticky note on it that read "Play Me!"

I played the recorder, and a deep, growling voice spoke in a sinister tone. 

"I want to play a game. You believe you are free to wander freely without consequence. You have trespassed and are now considered to be in the doghouses. You cannot leave the doghouses until you find out who let the dogs out. You can either choose to fuck around, or you can find out. Let the game begin." 

Wow. That made no sense at all, and I decided I couldn't take it seriously. What a joke. 

I held onto the recorder, placing it in my bag. I turned around, and there before me, blocking the exit to the house, was a dog. It just sat there, staring at me, but it didn't seem to pose a threat. It was normal-sized, but was the same breed as I had seen a moment earlier, standing atop the house. However, it was now a light brown color. 

After my heart rate settled back down after the fright, I slowly approached the doorway. The closer I got to it, the more it began to growl, it's eyes locked on me. I moved slowly, trying not to appear as a threat. 

I squeezed out through the door, the dog following my every movement. It was inside the house enough that I was able to maneuver around it and get outside. However, the moment I stepped outside, the dog barked at me, turned around and lunged out through the doorway. 

As the dog passed through the doorway, it morphed into the giant red dog I had seen earlier. Horrified, I bolted up the hill. It chased me only part way up the hill before it seemingly gave up and want back to the house and laid down on the roof. 

Interesting. So the big red dogs shrink to normal size and breed when inside their houses. 

Huffing and puffing, I sat down to drink some almond water. The dog was still watching me, but it, too, seemed tired as it rested. 

~~~~~~~~

The strange dog house neighborhood seemed to go on for many miles. I did my best to keep my distance, as I saw a variety of big red dogs, of varying breeds, seemingly standing guard outside their houses. 

"Bark!" some would say as they saw me pass by. 

"Woof off!" I would bark back. 

They all seemed to notice me, but they kept to themselves, minding their business, chewing on toys. I felt like a lone cat venturing through a valley of wolves, but no harm ever came to me. 

Eventually, I came to a much larger dog house that resembled a tiered timber temple. The structure was much larger than the other dog houses, and next to it sat a dog that was equally of much larger scale than the other big red dogs. This one was a golden retriever breed, all red. It spotted me immediately, but it remained seated in silence. 

The big red dog reminded me of "Clifford the Big Red Dog", a children's book that I had some nostalgia of from my own childhood. For a moment, I stared at "Clifford," expecting some sort of movement, but he just sat there, panting in peace. 

Somehow, it felt like I was meant to enter the temple. I slowly moved toward the entry, keeping my eyes locked on "Clifford". He didn't seem to care or even notice me entering the temple, so I went inside. 

The temple interior was one large room, with a single wooden round table. On the table was a pile of jigsaw puzzle pieces, and next to the pile was a yellow note that read "Solve the puzzle of who let the dogs out" in red paint. 

Now this I can do. I went to work sorting through the jigsaw puzzle pieces, fitting the pieces together. As the pieces came together, I began to sea the full picture. 

The jigsaw puzzle formed an image of a Viking ship at sea, with four identical white cats with blue eyes. The moment I snapped the final piece of the puzzle into place, "Clifford" entered the room, becoming a normal-sized golden retriever as he crossed the threshold. However... "Clifford" was no longer red. Instead, he was now all turquoise, with glowing turqoise eyes. 

"Clifford" barked at me, then went over to a small wooden arched door at the back of the room, and pulled on the door handle, unlocking it. 

Strange. I hadn't seen that door there when I entered here. 

"Clifford" opened the door to reveal a strange arched tunnel that was all turquoise with a black and white checkered floor. It seemed to be made for normal-sized dogs, so I had to bend down to fit into it. 

What did this all mean? Had I solved the question of "who let the dogs out?" Was the answer "cats"? Had Viking cats let the dogs out? If so, why? So mysterious.

I was ready to move on. With reluctance, I entered the turquoise tunnel. 

After several paces into the dimly-lit tunnel, I heard the door slam shut behind me. When I turned around, the door was no longer there. Instead, there was ony a turquoise concrete wall. 

I had only one choice. I moved forward, making my way down the tunnel.