I had a dream about a hopeful, horny hamster and a Himalayan kitty.
Once upon a time there was a golden hamster who was horny and hopeful and lived alone in a huge cage. It was me. I was the hamster.
My cage was huge, ornate, and had multiple levels that contained various hamster accessories and toys. My habitat was my happy place, and I could have endless hamster adventures.
The cage sat on the floor of a large and spacious contemporary living room with beige walls. There were many colorful plastic tunnels that led from the cage and wrapped all around the room along the walls and even the ceiling. They went in all directions, creating a hamster hodge-podge haven of happiness.
My cage also had a door that was always open. I could come and go as I pleased, and anyone was allowed in.
My daily routine consisted of exiting the cage and scampering about, exploring every nook and cranny of the living room. I would climb up the window curtains, and get a bird's eye view of the room. At night, I would return to the cage, and explore the tunnels, where I felt safe and no one could see me.
One day, as I exited my cage, I saw a huge hamster wheel attached to the wall that hadn't been there before. It was much too large for little 'ol me, so I ignored it and scampered about the room, leaving hamster pellets scattered about the room.
As I was returning to my cage, I saw a gorgeous Himalayan cat with bright blue eyes perched atop the cage, watching me. I stood on my hind legs and stared at this beauty. Then I went inside my cage and ran in my wheel. After a while, I grew hungry.
When I went to my food bowl, I could see the cat outside the cage running in the large wheel. I ate a baby carrot, and then I stuffed my face with corn and sunflower seeds, my cheek pouches ballooning up. I was ready to go feed the cat because I was lonely and wanted to make a new friend.
I was also horny and ready to mount the cat. Before I left the cage, I wanted to be as much of a handsome golden hamster as I possibly could. So, I licked myself clean. I licked, and licked, and licked some more. I curled up into a ball so I could lick my tiny hamster balls. I licked them clean, and now I was ready for an adventure of a lifetime.
As I approached the cat, it seemed oblivious that I was there. I wanted to attract the cat, who was probably getting hungry from running endlessly in the wheel. So, I decided to present the food I had gathered to the cat in order to make it fall in love with me. I pushed the food out of my pouches, barfing it up onto the floor. Then, I stood there staring at the occupied cat, proud of my puke, waiting for the cat to love me.
After a few moments, the cat stopped running to lick itself. When it looked down, it saw me and became startled. The cat jumped, bolted and skedaddled out of the wheel, seemingly defying gravity.
Ready to mate with this beauty, I began chasing the cat in hot pursuit. Horrified, the Himalayan hissed, jumping off of the walls, knocking over vases and other trinkets which crashed to the floor. We ran up the walls, jumped off furniture, and ran in circles around the room, which became a messy chaotic scene of broken debris.
At one point, I managed to land on the cat's back. Further startled, it's tail became poofy, and it tried to rid me off of it's back. I was now riding the cat much like a clown rides a bull at a rodeo. YEE-HAW!
I was thrown off and hit the wall, and I sounded like a squeaky toy. I scampered back to my cage and closed the door, rejected. That's the last time I would allow myself to hope for happiness.
Over time, the Himalayan and I became best pals, and we eventually fell in love and had a child.
<img src="https://www.dreamstreamspace.com/bos/app/images/goldenhamilayancat.jpg" style="width:100%; height: auto;" alt="Hamster-Himilayan Kitten" />
Then I woke up. THE END.