Disregarding the posted speed limit, I was driving down a desolate desert highway in a bright red 1989 Firebird Formula. I was headed west toward Hollywood. As I drove in silence, I was alone in my thoughts. Uncertain about my future, I had decided that I was done with my old life of constantly feeling neglected, misunderstood, and ostracized from the religiously conservative community I had now abandoned.
I was driving across an endless desert of desolation and derilict dreams. Everywhere I looked, the wide world was a wasteland of deteriorating dystopian emptiness, devoid of life and prosperity.
The road ahead of me was uncertain, but I knew it headed west, toward Hollywood. I had learned that there were opportunities for ambitious dreamers and doers, and I wanted to be a part of it.
I came to a gas station that was in the middle of nowhere that was surrounded by several scraggly, dying trees. I went inside to pay for gas and buy myself a 6-pack of root beer. As expected, there was no one around, so I left a solid gold coin on the counter, filled my tank, opened a root beer, and continued driving.
Speeding along, I passed through the Rocky Mountains in mere minutes, and then I arrived in Los Angeles. When I got there, I found that it, too, was a ghost town. Exploring the unfamiliar city, I saw only a handful of people walking around.
Where was everyone? Was there something going on that I was unaware of?
I found a hotel to stay in where I booked a room indefinitely. In the hotel lobby, I found Elle Fanning waiting to help me with my bags. "Can I help you with your baggage?" she asked.
"No, I'm good," I replied, being someone that was accustomed to doing everything solo.
"It's my job. I want to help," she said, smiling warmly at me.
"I have no baggage," I insisted.
Elle pointed at the luggage in my car. "Yes, you do. Let me help you with that."
I clearly misunderstood her. With a bit of hesitation, I allowed Elle to help me unload my luggage from my car. As she did so, she asked where the three sisters were that she had seen me with earlier. I was clueless as to what she was talking about, so I dismissed her question and asked if she knew how I could establish myself in LA.
Elle told me about a new class that was being offered at a local video store. She warned me that it was meant to test our creative limits and integrity, and that very few ever finish it with success. Those who fail would be doomed to a life of homelessness and shame. So... no pressure, then.
Thinking I would be late to the class and miss my opportunity, I sped recklessly through LA, running red lights. The streets were still empty, and virtually no one was around. Where had everyone gone?
I came to a video store that was built into the side of a hill, and on the hill was the Hollywood sign. The video store was illuminated with bright neon signs, and it's roof was a parking lot. I parked, and found the entrance that led downstairs into a vast open space full of rows of shelves. In the center of the store was an open space that was clearly being used as a classroom area, as there were whiteboards and school desk chairs.
Finding that I was early and the class hadn't started, I decided to browse the store. On the shelves were both books and DVD or Bluray cases. As I looked closer, it occurred to me that the books were bundled together with their corresponding movie adaptations.
Then, I heard an alarm go off that sounded like a couple chipmunks getting into a ferocious fight. It was time for the class to begin. I took my seat in the front row. There were a couple dozen other students there, all full of ambition and dreams, and we all waited in anticipation for the teacher to arrive. As we waited, I noticed that they were all half my age, and I began to feel out of place.
In walked Reese Witherspoon, with books and teaching materials in arms. She set her stuff down on the teacher's desk, and she looked at me and smiled, and I felt seen. We locked eyes, and I immediately fell in love with her sparkling blue eyes.
Reese introduced herself and asked us to raise our hands if this was our first class in Hollywood. Around half of the class raised their hands, myself included. She went on to explain what we would be learning throughout the course.
Our first lesson was about brainstorming ideas, so we were given worksheets. For some reason, I had crayons with me, which I used to draw stick figures. Then, it was time for a "snack break", so I said that I wanted "chickie nuggies and chocky milk". I felt like such a child.
During the break, I noticed that everyone else around me were drawing masterpieces, while I only had scribbles and stick figures. I became stressed, and I feared that I would fail the course and become a crackhead staring at strangers outside a 7-11. I began to cry, not knowing what to do.
Reese noticed me, and she came over and comforted me. She was so very warm and gentle and playful. I felt, for the first time in many years, accepted.
~~~~~~~~~~
The class met every day, and every day I went to and from my hotel where Elle greeted me in the lobby and escorted me to my room. We gradually got to know each other, and I began to develop feelings for her.
After every class, I would stay longer so I could get to know Reese better. I was the most stressed out student she had in the class, as I seemed to struggle the most since I was new to the film industry. We connected naturally, playfully flirting with each other. I was developing hots for teacher! How inappropriate of me.
One day, after everyone had left the video store, I asked Reese how a sex scene was made. She sat on the edge of her desk, wrapped her legs around my waist, and looked at me with a fiery desire. "Like this," she said in a seductive tone.
The desire was mutual, and I dropped my pants in a millisecond. In heated passion, we kissed and caressed each other, sensually stimulating each other's minds and bodies.
[ SCENE MISSING. Video Store Management apologizes for the inconvenience. ]
Spooning a wild Witherspoon atop her desk, I was preoccupied with playing with her frizzled hair. We had humped, hot and heavy, both of us happy and stress-free. It had been many years since I felt any kind of intimacy with someone I truly desired. So many years.
As the course progressed, Reese and I became lovers, and I learned the ins and outs of the entertainment industry. The class was about to conclude, and the final exam was about to commence.
Out of a deep fear of uncertainty about the future, I suddenly panicked. I checked out of the hotel, got in my red 1989 Firebird Formula, and sped recklessly into the desert. Feeling deeply guilty about abandoning Reese and other potential opportunities, I wandered the desert, alone and in solitude, until I withered away and became nothing more than dust, obliterated by countless years of isolation.
Then I woke up. THE END.