Marinara Mafia

It wasn't clear how I had come to be a member of a mafia, but I was part of the "family" of misfits. Meandering through a picturesque mountain range with a troop of faceless men, we were on a mission, marching onward toward a village high in the Italian Alps. 

I was straggling behind the group, huffing and puffing, exhausted and trying to keep up. Being the new trainee, I was the most misfit of the misfits. 

We came to a field of giant tomato plants that was covering the slope of a mountainside. Atop each of the plants were giant tomatoes, many of which were the size of cars. 

We were the Marinara Mafia, as we had come to be known by the villagers. We were each carrying semi-automatic rifles, with backpacks filled with magazines and ammo. 

Our mafia boss, a woman known only as "Madame Mandy," had given us an assignment to massacre the marinara makers down in the villages. Being the newbie, I didn't understand the mission, and it felt wrong. I hadn't yet met Mandy, but I went with the flow. 

As we made our way into the village, the people emptied the streets and shut their doors and windows, hiding from us. 

TAT-TAT-TAT-TAT! Our troop leader opened fire on a group of stragglers as they tried to cram into a house. The other troop members followed suit, opening fire. As the bullets hit their targets, the victims ballooned into bright red blobs resembling tomatoes, then burst, splattering marinara sauce all over the walls. 

What the fuck?

"We need to get as many as possible," said Tom, the troop leader. 

"Why?" I asked. 

"Do as you're told, or Madame Mandy will force you to snort oregano from her snatch and lick basil off her booty!" shouted Tom as he and the other troops opened fire on another group. 

I pulled the trigger, completely missing my mark. I could have hit my target, had I wanted, but I didn't understand what the purpose of the marinara murder was, so I pretended to be a bad shot. 

Suddenly, a couple uncanny villagers charged at me with knives in hand, and they didn't quite appear human. They sort of hissed, seeming as if they were possessed. I shot at them, but missed completely. 

"Get 'em!" yelled Tom. 

CLICK-CLICK-CLICK-CLICK! God dammit! Out of ammo. 

With several villagers chasing me, I changed magazines, and shot at my pursuers. As the bullets hit them all, they ballooned and burst into puddles of marinara sauce. 

Tom appeared frustrated with me, and told the other troops to bring me to Madame Mandy for my "punishment."

~~~~~~~~

I was escorted to a picture perfect villa situated atop a mountain. Two armed guards brought me through the foyer and into the back yard, where there was a pool. Wading in it was Madame Mandy, a gorgeous brunette in a thong bikini, perhaps in her early thirties. 

"You can leave us," she said, eyeing every inch of me up and down. 

"I don't understand. What did I do -" 

"Let me be explicitly clear with you," Mandy firmly interrupted. "The marinara people can get out of control if they aren't pruned properly."

"Marinara people?" I was clueless. 

"If the marinara people aren't massacred regularly, they will overrun our operation. Do you understand?" Mandy was glaring at me, which I found oddly sexy. 

"Not really, to be honest," I said. "Will I be punished?"

"Strip down and get in the pool," Mandy demanded with a sultry tone that made me more aroused than I already was. 

Wow. I like a direct woman who was in charge and wanted to get right to business. If this was going to be my punishment, I was in paradise. I got naked and jumped in the pool. 

Mandy took off her bikini, plopping it down on the pool ledge. She sat on the edge of the pool and spread her legs. Next to her was a bowl of oregano, and she sprinkled some of it on her groin. 

"Snort it," she demanded. 

I moved slowly up to her, but as my face approached her pelvis, I was thrown off by what I saw down there. Instead of a womanly pink part, there was a sliced open tomato! Mandy was one of the marinara people, and her clit was a tomato slit! 

No matter... I love tomatoes, so I went to town. She moaned and groaned as I snorted oregano from her snatch. It was so warm and moist, and I slurped the tomato juice right out of her tomato taco. She screamed and squirted tomato juice into my face. 

She climbed back into the pool and wrapped her legs around me. "Fuck me hard," she said, breathing deeply. 

I had never fucked a tomato before, but there's always a first time for everything, I guess. We thrusted and thrashed in the water, ferociously fornicating. 

~~~~~~~~

"I hope you learned your lesson," said Mandy as she and I were laying naked in the pool together. 

"I sure did," I said with a serious and compliant tone, although deep down, I was grinning. 

"You're new to the family, so let me tell you our story," Mandy said. 

Like a child curling up in bed in anticipation of hearing a bedtime story, I stared at Mandy with puppy dog eyes as she explained things. 

~~~~~~~~

It was during World War II that the Nazis came down from the north, into the Italian Alps, to set up a secret research facility. Their experiments dealt with the "paranormal" and other unknown phenomena. One such experiment had gone awry, unintentionally opening a portal to an unknown dimension. 

In an instant upon the portal opening, numerous horrifying creatures spilled into our world. The portal was quickly closed and sealed, and most of the creatures that got through were terminated. Most of them. 

Among the few that had been spared was an entity that could imitate objects and living beings from our world. It was little more than a seedling, but it was parasitic and needed a host to grow.

As an experiment, the seedling was grafted onto a tomato plant. From there, the seedling mutated the tomato plant, growing a massive tomato. What the Nazis didn't know at the time was that DNA from a scientist had gotten absorbed into the seedling. As it grew, the giant tomato became an incubation pod for growing a "tomato-based humanoid," according to witnesses. 

It took only a couple weeks before the first tomato person was "born" from the tomato pod. Born as a full-grown woman, the entity was studied for years. During that time, she had come into contact with numerous people, absorbing their DNA through seductive means. She then reproduced by planting more mutated tomato pod plants. 

After World War II ended, the research efforts had been abandoned, and so the "tomato people" population grew. Over the years, the entities were reproducing exponentially, and so a "marinara mafia" was formed. This title came about because it was found that the tomato people burst into marinara sauce upon being executed. 

This practice became known as "pruning" in the region, so as to prevent the invasive species from overrunning the world. The remains of the deceased entities were harvested and used to manufacture marinara sauce, which was sold to various franchises around the world. 

~~~~~~~~

"Wow," I said, pretending to be shocked. "So how did you come to be the mafia leader?"

"I always have been, from the beginning," said Mandy with a prideful tone. 

"So... you're the original marinara madame?" I asked. 

"That's right. Before you go, make me squirt again," Mandy said with a sparkle in her eye. 

~~~~~~~~

With traces of tomato juice around my mouth and oregano on my nose, I met Tom at the entrance of the villa. 

"It's time for our Soylent Green Tomatoes mission," said Tom. 

"What's that?" I asked in puzzled tone. 

"We need to go down to the villages and force-feed the tomato people some marinara sauce. For sake of the status quo, of course," Tom said in a serious tone. 

"Wooowww..." I said, wide-eyed.