Mission: Green Bean Casserole

I had a weird dream that I was on a mission to satisfy my green bean casserole cravings. 

Apparently, I was the outlier of some commune, or perhaps a cult, that lived in an enchanting forest. The "forest family" was an earth-conscious community that lived an eco-friendly lifestyle. More than eco-friendly, actually. They were naturists who were always in the nude. It seemed I was the outlier because I was the only one wearing clothes. 

The commune was built amongst a dense, rugged forest with giant sequoias towering into the sky. Most of the structures at the commune were residential cabins, which housed the living quarters for most of the community. 

As for myself, I was the outcast, so I was forced to live in a tent on the outside of the commune. I didn't give a shit, though, since I already enjoyed the solitude, and the peace and quiet. 

At the center of the commune was a giant sequoia, much larger than others within it's proximity. Built into the trunk of the tree, near it's base, was a treehouse, which was used as a kitchen and dining hall. Outside in a small clearing around it were picnic tables, and a fire pit. 

Today was Pot Luck Day, so there would be a buffet of dishes provided by members of the community. In the early morning hours, as I sat alone in my turquoise tent, I could smell the aroma of food cooking in the kitchen treehouse. One smell in particular caught my attention. It was a blend of garlic, mushroom soup, green beans, and crispy onions. The aroma nearly gave me an orgasm as I realized it was one of my favorite dishes... green bean casserole. 

SNIFF! SNIFF! I thought I also smelled... bacon!

Holy sweet baby green bean Jesus did that cooking casserole get me hooked!  I decided to make it my mission to prioritize getting some of it. 

The giant treehouse tree was partially hollow for most of the way up the trunk, going well above the top of the interior of the treehouse. I had been in there several times before, so I already knew that it was possible to climb in from an opening that was used as a ventilation shaft for the smokers and oven. Thus, I prepared my climbing gear in anticipation for the climb, once the food was ready. 

"Everything's ready!" someone shouted from the treehouse. 

The community gathered into a line and filed up the flight of stairs into the treehouse. One of the picnic tables near the entrance had all wooden plates and cutlery, which everyone picked up as they passed. 

I tried to enter the line, but as expected, I was forced to the end of the line. I felt like the odd one out, being the only one with clothes on. I stared at the line of bare booty cheeks before me, and I grew anxious as I worried that there would be no more green bean casserole. 

It was time to resort to my secret mission. I grabbed a wooden plate, went to my tent to grab my climbing gear, and then I discreetly went to the other side of the tree, out of sight of the crowd. 

Like a spider-monkey, I scaled the tree, up to the ventilation hole. I nailed a rung into the side of the tree, and hooked my rope to it. Like a secret spy, I lowered myself down the vent, holding my wooden plate in one hand. 

At this point, I realized this was all a dream, since there was no way in hell I would be able to climb around with such versatility in real life. Now that I had become aware of this, I took control and became even more versatile. 

I somehow flipped myself head over heels in the vertical shaft, now facing downward. On a seemingly impossible mission to get me some green bean casserole, I continued to lower myself downward, wooden plate in one hand. There I was, in the shaft, thinking I was stealth and secretive. 

The shaft opened into the kitchen, where there was a buffet of dishes and a line of naked people piling up food on their wooden plates. As I lowered myself down to the buffet, the naked people began to stare up at me. My dumb ass believed they couldn't see me, because I was being secretive and stealth as fuck. 

We stared at each other, and I was like a cat defiantly staring you in the face while knocking objects off a shelf. I began to pile up my plate with some of my favorite things.

Greek salad. Ambrosia salad. Candied yams. Buffalo wings. Deviled eggs. Dill pickles. 

Then... there it was. At the end of the buffet was a tray of green bean casserole, with bacon bits mixed in! I topped off my stack of food with several spoonfuls of the heavenly dish. 

Next to the end of the buffet was a cooler with drinks, so I grabbed a bottle of vanilla Pepsi. I took one last look at the naked crowd as they stared at me, making sure they couldn't see me, as if I hadn't just cut in line. 

I hoisted myself up, disappearing back up into the ventilation shaft. Somehow, without spilling my plate, I flipped back upright, and returned to the exit hole, and I spider-monkeyed my ass back down the tree, out of view of the community. I returned to my tent, where I ate alone, stuffing my face with the satisfying green bean casserole. 

Mission accomplished. 

THE END.